Life is crazy. Crazy because I have four young and demanding kids. Crazy because I had a trip planned to visit Chloe and have some me time and I had to cancel it because of a heart breaking double ear infection (Oliver). Life is crazy because Kevin is excelling at work but it means he has to spend a lot more time there kicking butt...which means long days for both of us, in different ways. Life is crazy because it's a constant battle of staying above water and getting burned out. Life is crazy because there are never enough hours in the day to keep up the house, exercise, try new recipes, play, teach, or enjoy these littles while they're still little.
It. Is. Crazy.
It. Is. Going. So. Fast.
Too fast. Oliver had his 6 month check up today. How is he 6 months already? He is the easiest, happiest baby that there ever was. He is so patient and accommodating to being shuffled around from place to place for appointments, play dates etc. for his sisters and I worry that he isn't getting enough time. I worry that I'm not getting enough time either. Six months already and I worry I haven't held him enough, kissed him enough, or savored all the sweet little babyness that he is. He loves watching his sisters and they love playing with him. I take a lot of comfort in that. Every night he gets a bath and that's his special quiet time to relax and play. Most nights Kevin takes him after I nurse him and just rocks him to sleep in the old red recliner.
Oliver
At 6 months he is 18lbs 1oz 70% for weight- he is my biggest baby. I'd say most of the weight is in his bum and leggins. He is so stinkin cute. I love that he sucks in his bottom lip. I love it when he falls asleep on my bed waiting for me to finish tucking in his sisters. I love that he smiles every time our eyes meet. I love how ticklish he is. He still can't sit up very well on his own yet and hasn't quite taken off with baby food but I don't mind. He's healthy and he can stay a baby as long as he wants. I'm not going to rush him if he's not ready. He loves standing up with help. Maybe he just wants to skip all that sitting business haha. When he is in the shower with me he holds out his little hand to feel the water. It's those kinds of small details that I am afraid I will forget because things are changing so quickly all the time.
Twins
I wish so much that we could afford to put them in ballet. They love to sing and dance. They are so tender hearted and sincere. I can't believe they will start preschool this fall. They have grown leaps and bounds the last few months branching out and being brave in primary. Sophie has a little friend named Addie, and she just went on her very first SOLO play date to her house ALONE the other day. That was huge. They love dressing up and want to be just like me. When they are calling my name every 5 minutes I have to remind myself to be patient because I know that they just want to share everything with me because they love me so much. I love them so much too. Remi has been working extra hard to over come some of her challenges with eating dinner and being shy and I am so proud of her. Sophie is so sassy and fun loving. She loves snuggling...especially with Oliver. Remi is so sweet. She just wants to be with me all the time. When she makes a mistake she really means it when she says sorry. She is completely heart broken and I just want to hug her and never let her go. They are still small enough that they get excited about everything and I want that to last forever.
Weslie
Agh so much has changed the last few months I don't even know where to start. My sweet beautiful girl has so much anxiety and is so insecure with herself at just age FIVE. It breaks my heart. She is so silly, smart, independent and loving. She has been seeing her friend Jill (her counselor) every week doing her "hard work." Progress has been slow because we really want her to understand what worry means, how to express her feelings and understand how her body is reacting etc. These are all things she really struggled with and she has already changed a lot now that she understands it better. There are less tantrums. I feel more emotionally connected to her. My frustrated child is now able to let out her feelings and enjoy things more. She was able to graduate preschool in a much more confident state than when she started. We still have so much to do, but I know she can do it! I hope we can do it...we have to do it! There have been a lot of changes that Kevin and I have had to make and it has been more than emotionally draining. I am constantly worried about how I am reacting, what I am saying, feeling guilty, trying my best, wishing I could be medicated and get better sleep. It. Is. Hard. But I can do hard things and I am lucky to have Kevin to help me. I love that girl and I want her to love herself and have a solid foundation before starting Kindergarten. Seeing how much happier she already is has made it all worth it and gives me the strength to keep trying even though I know I will make mistakes. She is such a good helper. She can't wait for Kindergarten.
I wish I blogged more but my time management is poor. I want to remember everything, the good and the bad. This busy time of life will be over before they will all be in school. All I can do is hope that what I do get written down will be enough. I love these babies so much and I am so lucky that I get to be their mom. I am so glad that I get to share it all with Kevin. I am trying especially hard to love myself despite my imperfections so I can be a better example to Wes. We are all learning as we go. I hope when I post again in a few months that I can look back on this post and say that I've grown too. Life is crazy. But there is so much good in all the small moments.
